How May I Serve You, Ma'am?
by wikelia
Summary: Modern AU. Astrid doesn't mind weddings, but she's definitely tired right now and none of her family is helping. Maybe the cute drink server can?
1. Chapter 1

**Explanation for this piece of crap: My...third cousin is living here, and her wedding is coming up, and I am tired even though it's fun. There's a pre wedding party coming up at our house, and I had to get the guest list ready, set the soundtrack, teach my sisters to dance (even though I have no fricking idea how to dance myself, especially not these Bollywood-esque type), and go a bunch of places. And, you know, my mom's stressed out and, - no one really cares, so I'll just stop. Try to enjoy this horrible, stress-induced story.**

"Give me the strongest thing you've got."

The boy behind the counter laughed as she slumped her head on the table. He kneeled down so that he was eye level with her. "Not a wedding person?"

She studied him. He couldn't be much older or younger than her, and his nametag read "Hiccup." Stupid name, but it didn't matter. If he was willing to listen to her talk, then his name could Rumpelstiltskin for all she cared. Right now, her mother had finally given her a five minute break while she finalised things, and she just wanted to let everything out.

"I usually am, but my whole summer has been spent getting ready for this." She pushed her bang from her face and sighed. "I think I'm sweating."

After her second year of college, Astrid had hoped to spend the summer relaxing, not helping to plan a wedding. And a pre wedding party. And an after wedding party. Her family was crazy. Absolutely off their rocket. Her cousin was a bit overwhelmed by all of this happening too, but it was _her_ wedding, she was bound to be overwhelmed.

"Well, you still look very beautiful, ma'am." The boy gave her a winning smile, still leaning forward the counter. She could see the freckles on his face.

Astrid raised her eyes and put her head in her hand. "Thank you. Now, how about that drink?"

"Can't give you any alcohol, ma'am," he replied, leaning back against the counter behind him. He didn't appear to be very sorry about it. In fact, he was...holding back a laugh?

"Can't give you anything, actually." He shrugged and jumped back, sitting on the counter. "Orders. Until the guests arrive, no drinks. And even then, no alcohol."

The girl stared at him in horror. "Why not?"

This was unacceptable. Everyone knew that getting wasted was one of the best parts of weddings. What was the point, otherwise?

"Kids, milady. No need for them to be exposed to it. I think your mother is the one who set that rule."

" _Fuck,"_ she hissed, banging her fist on the counter, "I don't suppose you'd be willing to ignore that? And milady, really? What, do you flirt with every girl who wants a drink?"

He grinned at her. "Only you. Forgive me, ma'am. Won't do it again."

"Astrid."

"What?"

She crossed her arms and tossed her braid back, making sure to look like someone not to mess with. Exhaustion was no excuse for bad appearance. "My name is Astrid. No need for 'ma'am'. I'm not my mother."

"Astrid," he repeated mockingly, and she _knew_ he was making fun of her, but didn't know how to explain it. It wasn't the type that Snotlout did, the one that made her want to punch him. This was a...unique type of teasing.

He got off the counter and walked towards her, putting his elbows on the counter and flashing her a cute smile. That was really the only word to describe him. He was cute. And witty, apparently. And tall, and sassy. Okay, there were a lot of words to describe him.

"Well, Astrid, I'll be here the whole time, so if you wanna talk, let your tension out, I'll be here. It's pretty boring, anyway. It'll be nice to have someone to talk to." He tipped an imaginary hat and his grin grew wider.

She laughed. A genuine, easy, laugh actually escaped her throat after maybe a week. She leaned forward with her own teasing smile. "If I have the sudden urge to talk to cute, dorky, drink servers, I'll come find you."

The boy smiled at her, and then let out a laugh of his own. "That's my title, milady. Cute, dorky, drink server."

"Don't let it go to your head." And then she heard her mother's voice calling her, and she gave him a half apologetic look before turning around.

But before she left, she turned around and quirked her lips upwards. "Thanks, Hiccup."

He was staring at her, still leaning on the counter, and he inclined his head with a playful smile.

"No problem, ma'am."

 **My room is hot, and I am tired, and this oneshot sucks. Good day.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So...people want me to continue this for some weird reason? Your wish is my command :) Not satisfied with it, though. Basically planning to do short segments of the wedding and Hiccup and Astrid's interactions.**

Weddings were actually something Astrid quite enjoyed. And she liked being part of the main party, the special people that got to see the bride before she came out. It made her feel nice. She had a cousin - Rosie, and they were constantly trying to upstage each other. They were both the same age, but it always seemed like her cousin was a step ahead at all times. Astrid's grades were good, but Rosie attended clubs for them. Astrid couldn't draw at all, while everyone admired Rosie's quick drawings. Astrid couldn't play any instrument, only dance, but her family seemed to care more about where the music came from, and not how one reacted to it, so Rosie being able to play the viola and the piano was great for them. So, finally, finally, after talking to that cute boy and downing a glass of cold water, she pulled a Troy Bolton and got her head in the game, because for once, she knew more about what was going on. More than perfect little Rosie.

She had other cousins too, all of them had something about them. The younger kids were easier to get along with. Astrid was the oldest after the girl who was getting married, but Rosie and a few other were her age. And they were coming in now. Only she didn't feel like talking to them just yet. Instead, she hurried to the bathroom to check herself in the mirror. Dress not ripped? Makeup not falling apart? Everything good? Yes to all three.

Still, as she rushed out, she hesitated. Her line of vision caught Rosie, who, as always, looked splendid. Her fists clenched in frustration. It wasn't right to care about this, this night wasn't about her or Rosie, it was about the bride and groom. Her cousin, Felicity.

But she couldn't _help_ it. Astrid had always had a very competitive nature. She wanted to be the best, she wanted to be better than her cousin.

"You okay, ma'am?"

She looked to her side. The bathrooms were only a few steps away from where the drinks were. So Hiccup was there now, looking at her with a bright smile. He gestured for her to sit down on one of the chairs in front of the counter. She bit her lip, because her mom would want her to greet everyone, but she wasn't ready for Rosie just yet. So she took the invitation, slipping into the chair.

"I'm fine," she responded with a sigh, "I...you know, just...stuff. I don't suppose you could break the rules and give me a drink?"

"I can give you fruit punch." He grinned, holding up a jug with a pink drink. "Trust me, it's really good."

"Yeah, _that'll_ get me wasted," she deadpanned, giving him the most sarcastic look she could muster.

Hiccup laughed, and she smiled despite herself. He was about to say something to her when a couple came up to get a drink. He held up a finger, before he gave them what they wanted.

It was a quick process, but Astrid couldn't stop the slightly dejected feeling in her stomach. Of course he couldn't just talk to her the whole night, he was about to get really busy. And so was she, for that matter.

When he turned back to her, he said, "Anyway, Astrid, I'll have you know that I made this punch, and it is the best in the world."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "Fine. Hand it over, sir chef."

"Right away, ma'am," and she couldn't stop the grin spreading across her face at his pleased expression as he poured her the punch and at his continued use of the word "ma'am." Very obvious flirting, and she didn't half mind, really.

She took the drink he offered and took a slight sip. It _was_ good, better than anything she could make, but she didn't tell him that. Instead, she pretended to think mockingly, and critiqued. "You know, I think it could be better."

"Oh, really?" he played along, putting a hand on his heart. "I thought I had found the absolute perfect recipe." He leaned forward, his grin matching hers. "I guess I'll just have to perfect it until you find it acceptable, milady."

"Astrid!"

The blonde and the brunette leaned away from each other and Astrid bristled at the interruption. "Mom?"

"Rosie's family is here. Come say hi." She pulled Astrid away from the counter and the girl shot Hiccup an apologetic look, mouthing an apology.

He shrugged, waving his hand.

And even before she started talking to Rosie, she knew she preferred flirting with the drink server. _At least he didn't make her want to pull her hair out,_ she thought grudgingly.

"Hey, Astrid."

 _Oh dear._

 **I** _ **am**_ **basing this off how life is right now. Obviously, the wedding has not happened yet, but two other parties** _ **for**_ **the wedding have, another one is coming, and then there's the one after the wedding and aghhhh I'm still trying very hard to keep everyone in character. (Rosie is based off a real person too *sighs*)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, to one guest who wanted to know which story out of my three stories I would finish first, it'll be this one, because I believe DON and IKYWT are gonna take a while. As for how many chapters they will have, I have no clue since I never plan ahead *winces* Sorry!**

 **And to the guest who left three wonderful reviews that honestly made my day and asked me if Hiccup was based off of a real person, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I actually squealed while reading them because oh my Thor, you took the time to leave three reviews on two chapters, you actually told me what you thought about it, and - and you brightened my day so much THANK YOU. As for Hiccup being based off a real person, he is kind of a mixture of himself and an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in a while (he was a lot like Hiccup, so…). I definitely haven't met any cute drink servers lately XD I can hope**

After talking to Rosie and getting a headache in result, Astrid went over to the DJ. Proudly, she could say she was given the task of arranging the soundtrack, as long as there were more old songs than new ones, and they all had to be upbeat and about...love or weddings. And she could also say she knew a lot of 80s and 90s songs now. None of the kids her age liked them, but even though she would never admit it, Astrid _did_ like them. They set the mood better than songs today could. Not to say she didn't like her generation's songs.

The music started smoothly, and a few people moved to the dance floor. There were barely any slow songs, so no chance for her to get stuck dancing with one of her cousins. Astrid preferred dancing alone, and she was very good.

After speaking with the DJ, she stepped out onto the dance floor and got a feel of the beat. Slowly, she started swaying her hips before moving her arms along with it. From a distance, she saw Rosie raising an eye at her; she believed dancing to be too girly. But honestly, today she wanted to have fun. So Rosie's opinion did not matter right now.

Her hair spun as she did. She had let it out from its braid upon her mother's and cousin's insistence, because who was she to defy the bride? She raised her arms above her head and took the center of the hall, aware that many people were watching her, most of them guys. Astrid knew that she was dancing very seductively, but the songs were made to be danced to like that, and this was pretty innocent compared to what some teenagers did. As a nineteen year old girl, everyone was lucky that this was all she was doing.

Her eyes wandered to the drink table where a certain auburn haired boy was also staring at he. In his hand was a glass and in front of him was a man standing impatiently. When he caught her eye, the blush that spread across his cheeks had to be the one of the cutest things she had seen.

Still dancing, Astrid tilted her head to the side to point out the man waiting for a drink. Hiccup snapped back to reality and faced the man once more, but she saw his eyes dart back to her every once in awhile. She turned around, not facing him anymore. Who knew boys could have a cocky personality and be that cute at the same timel? Well, actually, that was how almost all bad boys were portrayed in films. But in real life, he was the first one she met.

The girl hummed along with the music, but she could not sing for the life of her, so humming was as far as it went. Dancing and humming. She scowled as her dress made her stumble, and looked up to see Rosie smirking at her. Astrid's cheeks flared up as her mom walked over to her.

"What are you doing?"

"Dancing. What else?"

"Go...go check with the kitchens. Food comes out in an hour, after a few people say a few words." Her mother sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. With that, she walked off, and Astrid's scowl deepened for three reasons. The first was that her mother was acting ashamed of her, all because she had stumbled on the over sized dress that had _not_ been her choice. The second one was that her mother was repeating the schedule that _Astrid_ had made, as though she wouldn't know it.

And the third was that she had no idea where the kitchens were.

But she knew where to find out.

"Hiccup?"

He was kneeling and fiddling with the soda machine. When he looked up at her, a smirk graced his features. "Ma'am. Nice of you to pay a visit to the help."

"Appropriately used, since I need your help," she stated dryly, rolling her eyes.

"I live to serve." He stood up straight, and she noted again that he was very tall; he would certainly tower over her if they were standing right in front of each other with no counter in between.

She grinned at him. "Do you know where the kitchens are?"

" _No_ ," Hiccup stretched out; apparently it was his turn to roll his eyes, "it's not like I work here."

"Shut up," but it was not meant to be harsh, she was fighting back a laugh and it was apparent.

Hiccup opened a door at the side and let her in, before leading her to the kitchens. Once in, he asked someone to take his place for five minutes.

"So, now you see." Hiccup spread his arms. "The glorious kitchen."

Astrid snorted. "As glorious as you."

"So, very glorious."

She laughed and looked around. No one noticed her, but she saw everything was in order. Laughter filled the kitchen as people drummed with their spoons and sang along to the music. They seemed to like it. A lot.

Astrid grinned as Hiccup grabbed her hand and twirled her around. It wasn't a slow song, but it was still fun to dance with a partner. Especially away from the eyes of her parents. A man with a yellow-ish mustache cheered them on, and the rest of the workers followed.

Soon, it seemed to be a competition between them and few other pairs. She was not about to be upstaged and was delighted to find that Hiccup had no such intentions either. He wasn't a bad dancer either. The song was very fast paced, and it was very fun. And she hadn't expected to be picked up and twirled around by a drink server today, but it was a nice surprise nonetheless.

And then they weren't even dancing together, they were just jumping and pumping their fists in the air, and the drumming increased, and everyone's laughter increased, and then -

"Ahem."

Rosie was standing there, crossing her arms and looking around, amused. Everyone froze and looked at her. She just had that kind of effect. "Didn't your mom say to make sure the kitchens were in order?" She raised an eye. "Looks like you're messing it up."

"She was not," the man with the yellow-ish mustache. Astrid shot him a grateful smile. "Just havin' some fun."

Her cousin eyed him with a scowl, but then gestured to the door. "Well, come on, then, Astrid. Everyone's waiting." She walked out with an air of confidence, the same confidence that she herself excluded, but Astrid hoped that it wasn't that arrogant.

"Thanks, Gobber," Hiccup told the man, and then winced at her. "Busy?"

"Busy with her, yeah." She laughed grimly, but then managed a real smile. "But thanks for showing me the kitchens, Hiccup. This was fun. I'll, uh, see you later." After hesitating for a millisecond, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. That was proceeded by her running out before he could say anything. As she left, she swore she heard a wolf whistle, and she would pay good money to bet that it had been Gobber, the yellow-ish mustached man.

 **DANCING IN THE KITCHENS. It's seriously hard to describe dancing. Anywayyyy, it's in the kitchens because we made cookies for my cousin's future in laws (because that's what we do - we give them food for the morning after or something like that) and it was a LOT of cookies. If you wanna see them, check out my Tumblr: astridthevalkyrie (although I don't think anyone really cares enough to see them XD)**


	4. Chapter 4

Astrid now found herself seated with a bunch of her cousins, each one unique, each one crazy in a way. Including herself, there were seven people sitting around on a round table. Everyone was swapping funny stories and jokes, because it wasn't often they got together. Right now, Owen was in the midst of telling what happened to him during his "epic rap battle" and she was laughing, because the lyrics were ridiculous. Then someone else spoke, then someone else cut in, then it was her turn…

"Is there anything you guys need?"

Everyone turned to the waiter, who she noted right away was her drink server. Astrid blushed dark red, _her_ drink server? Hell no. She drank a long sip of water to hide her red cheeks, and she felt Hiccup staring directly at her.

A few people said coke or sprite or orange juice (who drank orange juice at a wedding?) and then Gustav, one of her younger cousins, who nonetheless spoke like he was a part of their age group, looked the waiter directly in the eye and said, "Cheese."

Astrid put her glass down and tried to hide her smile. Rosie snorted. This would be fun. She wanted to see how he held up against her family.

Hiccup stared long and hard at her cousin, and then finally said, "What kind of cheese?"

Everyone at the table laughed, because it was so refreshing to see someone respond like that instead of being weirded out. The boy looked very pleased with himself and flashed a grin in her direction. Astrid rolled her eyes at him, but she was grinning all the same.

Now, Gustav was looking trapped, but it served him right. "Uh...cheddar?"

Hiccup laughed and walked back, giving her a quick look over his shoulder. Obviously, he was joking, he wasn't going to bring back cheese. Rosie, who was seated right next to her, raised an eye.

"What?"

"He's kinda cute, don't you think?"

Another furious blush passes through her cheeks, and she shook her head frantically. "No, he's not."

" _Sure."_

Rosie snorted again, her thoughts on the matter evident. When Hiccup came back, he had a tray in his hand. Everyone got what the drink they asked for, and then he handed a glass to her cousin.

The glass was half filled with strips of cheddar cheese.

* * *

"Showoff."

The auburn haired boy looked up at her and smiled. "Ah, ma'am!"

"Showoff," she repeated accusingly.

"I have -" He jumped over the counter; it was not his shift. "- no clue what you're talking about."

Astrid crossed her arms. "Just so you know, you're now and forever going to be a legend with us, second only to this random girl who replied, 'Polo, bitch,' when we called out, 'Marco.'"

"Your family is great," he responded with a broad grin.

The girl laughed, shaking her head slowly and relaxing, as she always seemed to be around this guy tonight. "So, er, Hiccup…"

"Yeah?" He gave her a genuine smile.

I like you? May I have your number? Would you like to go out with me? She had no clue what to say, so she cleared her throat and said, "Thanks."

He nudged her shoulder lightly, his smile playful again. "No problem, ma'am."

 **OKAY GUYS HOLY FRICK I ACTUALLY MET A CUTE DRINK SERVER AND THE FIRST PART OF THIS STORY WITH THE CHEESE ACTUALLY HAPPENED. The conversation with "Rosie" did not, though, and I certainly did not get the guy's number, or even his name. But he was funny. He came back to our table a few times, too. Hiccup the drink server is still the number one.**

 **Also the Marco Polo thing happened too. That happened in one of my oneshots, "You Say Hiccup, I Say Astrid."**


	5. Chapter 5

**To Kellen: Yes, you did call it! XD Nothing happened (not to mention the fact that I'm not allowed to date) but thank you for the support! 3**

"So, Astrid," Hiccup asked, eating a dorito, and then offering her one when she glanced at the bag, "how was your service tonight?"

They were getting ready to leave. The wedding was over; it had been a long night. It was nearly midnight, and Astrid (although she was embarrassed to say) had caught the bouquet when Felicity threw it. First, Rosie had teased her for a good five minutes, and Hiccup teased her for the next five. They had never spoken to each other, but the blonde had been ready to throttle them both.

But now she wished Hiccup was still teasing her.

Because she wouldn't see him after tonight. Unless someone else she knew got married here. But why would Hiccup still be working here? He had even told her he planned on getting a better job soon, and she trusted that someone as smart as him would be able to.

"Impeccable." She grinned, but that was to hide the painful grimace. "Hey, listen, it was fun hanging out with you tonight."

A smile lit up on Hiccup's face and she wanted to half laugh half cry because it was such a cute smile that she wanted to see again.

"You too." He nudged her arm. "I don't get many friends at parties here."

She held her hand up. "You got me."

Rosie appeared out of nowhere like she usually did and snapped. "Astrid, aren't you gonna get a picture with the rest of us?"

"In a minute," she sighed, "Hiccup, I just wanted to say -"

"Oh gosh! Have you _still_ not asked for his number?"

"Rosie!" Hiccup and Astrid both flared red, and in that moment, there was no one else she wanted to throttle more than her cousin.

"Oh, come _on._ You've been spending all your time with him whenever he's free, and the dope's face lights up like a Christmas tree whenever you get near. Are you honestly telling me that you, Astrid Hofferson, have not asked him out yet?"

Astrid Hofferson did not know what to say to that.

Rosie rolled her eyes. "Here. Let me - I have to do everything around here, I swear." She stood in front of Hiccup and he took a step back, reasonably intimidated, as Rosie did a very good impression of Astrid's voice. "Can I have your number? Great, let's start a family."

Astrid facepalmed.

And with that, Rosie left.

"You don't have to worry about that," she said quickly. He looked like he had just been run over by a bus, and her heart fell. "That's just Rosie being Rosie. It's okay if you don't feel that way about me." She ran a hand through her hair. She really was going to kill her cousin.

Hiccup turned redder than he already was, and it was so cute that she wanted to kiss every single one of the freckles on his nose. "But...what if I do feel that way about you?"

Astrid gaped at him. He ran a hand through his hair, looking extremely sheepish, but one look into his eyes told her was being one hundred percent honest.

And that really was all she needed.

Astrid slammed her lips on his, delighted that he wasted no time in kissing her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck like she had wanted to all night and she felt her waist tugged closer, which did not help the fireworks that exploded in her stomach. Any passerby might have claimed they were eating each other's faces, but that didn't matter at all. Heck, she didn't even care if her mother saw. Let her see her daughter kissing the drink server.

They pulled away all too soon, and Hiccup asked with a playful smile, "How may I serve you, ma'am?"

She laughed, and responded with, "Give me the strongest thing you got," before his lips were attacking her again.

 **FINALLY THIS IS FINISHED! And there you go, happy ending because I THINK I suck at writing sad endings (read my oneshot Sacrifice and let me know: shameless self promotion). I hope you enjoyed: How May I Serve You, Ma'am? Tell me what you thought! 3**


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